Cereal Killer

So this was the first time I ever made Rice Krispies Treats. Now I know why. It was about as much fun as … I don’t know … eating leather. I let loose a few choice words while I was working on them.

Nevertheless, I share my exploits with you, gentle reader, because they ended up quite sickeningly tasty and because they look quite nice once you clean all the goopy mess off your hands and everything else.

Here’s the recipe I used. It’s a simpler and less gross-sounding version of this one that I found on About.com the other day after a co-worker said “they should make candy corn cereal.”

Crispy Halloween Treats

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup butter
• butter for pan and hands
• 10 cups “crispy rice cereal” (uh, that’s Rice Krispies)
• 9 cups miniature marshmallows
• 2 cups candy corn

Butter a large jelly roll pan. In my case, I used one of the awesome big aluminum pans I always call a cookie sheet but really isn’t that my mom’s friend, a school lunch lady, let us put in with the order when the caf ordered new ones. In a pretty big saucepan melt butter and marshmallows on medium heat; stir them constantly until smooth. In an enormous bowl – I’m not kidding here, you’re going to need a tub or something – mix “crispy rice cereal” and candy corn. Add the disgusting marshmallow mixture to the cereal mixture; stir quickly to combine. Spread the mixture on prepared jelly roll pan and press with your buttered hands if you aren’t too grossed out. Let them sit on the kitchen table until you finish washing the dishes, about one hour, then cut into small squares.

I know! The last time I had that much fun in the kitchen, I was two years old and on my way to the hospital to get stitches in my head from hitting it on a drawer pull. Yeah. That’s more like it.

Food humor, with a side of sacrilege

I saw something on a car today that is even funnier than God Is My Quahog:

Ode to One Pie

There are a lot of things I love about New England: fresh seafood, colorful leaves, ornery folks. But something I especially love is the variety of old-fashioned regional foods. Chief among these is One Pie, and chiefest among the One Pie varieties is the squash. Squash is at once deliciously bizarre sounding and ordinary. At some times of the late summer the squash is so common, and then so abundant in Ziploc freezer bags, that the thought of buying commercially canned squash would be ridiculous. But yet for many New England cooks the One Pie squash is both secret weapon and, I think, uniquely odd thing that we embrace simply because we are known for embracing uniquely odd things.

It’s darn near impossible to find much about One Pie (of West Paris, Maine) on the Internet, but what I do find definitely falls into the “ornery New Englanders” category. Pretty much all I found was a bunch of complaints from Thanksgiving 2007 that the recipe for squash pie on the labels everyone bought was wrong. Seems the recipe is supposed to call for 20 minutes of baking at one temperature and then another spell of baking at a lower temperature. But somehow the labels most cooks ended up with last fall had just the 20-minute bake mentioned. Awful lot of angry cooks. What I don’t understand is, you say you’ve been using One Pie Squash to make yer Thanksgiving pie for yer whole life, and yer mother before ya too. So how come when you read the label and it says to bake it for just 20 minutes you thought that all of a sudden this year it would be different? This observation also flies in the face of the Hardy and Thrifty New Englander stereotype: I would have thought these people would be cooking their squash pie from an old label they tore off a can years ago and saved. I know I have a One Pie label kicking around somewhere around here.

Ah, the labels. Probably the best thing about One Pie is the old-fashioned typography and design of the label. The only other thing I found online about One Pie was a blog entry from some sort of city folk about the label. It even features nearly the same photo I took of my One Pie can: http://brooklynometry.blogspot.com/2007/12/one-pie.html

Only the photo of my can of One Pie is probably the best kind: a freshly emptied can.

Here are some of my favorite recipes featuring One Pie:

SQUASH

Ann’s Pumpkin Cookies

(OK, so these are supposed to be made with the pumpkin. But one time in college we wanted to make them but all we had was squash in the pantry. I actually liked them better with the squash and make them with squash whenever I can.)

Ingredients:

• 1 can of canned squash or pumpkin
• 1 egg
• 1/2 cup oil (or applesauce for low-fat version)
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/2 tsp baking soda, dissolved in 1 tsp. of water
• Optional: nuts, chocolate chips, etc.

Directions: Mix all the ingredients together. Put cookie-sized blobs of mix on a greased cookie sheet and bake in a 375 degree oven for 12-15 minutes. The cookies come out the way they look when they go in. You can also make these cookies with fresh pumpkin or squash but it makes the mix runnier, so adjust accordingly.

PUMPKIN

Ina Garten’s recipe for Soupe au Potiron. It’s a French recipe that she says is usually made with potirons, a kind of French pumpkin. But she recommends using canned pumpkin.

BONUS!

And here is a recipe for something I just tried. It was super easy and turned out fine, although I think it needs a little more flavor: Penne With Pumpkin Cream Sauce from the magazine Everyday With Rachael Ray.

As always, I made it with Romano cheese instead because I didn’t have any fresh Parmesan, with a tiny bit of garlic because I didn’t have any onions, and with a mix of half-and-half and 1 percent milk because I didn’t have any heavy cream. Still, not bad. Probably just needed a little more cheese.

Raw Goods

Friday night dinner in Maine: a dozen oysters and a beer, at J’s Oyster Bar in Portland. This place is a REAL bar. The tables feature some of that do-it-yourself decoupage you can only find in joints of this sort, with pieces of decorative paper stuck beneath a layer of epoxy—but not epoxied enough that it’s hasn’t been picked at and peeled by drunks or people bored or uncomfortable with their dinner companions. The bathroom wall features a poster offering the services of a company which will drive both you and your car home if you are too drunk to do it effectively yourself. It even smells like a bar, even though you can’t smoke in bars anymore.

Mac and Cheese and Garlic

Ever have one of those days when no matter what fascinating thing is on NPR, you spend the whole drive home thinking about dinner? That was me, tonight.

The culprit? Another entry from the "Recipes for Health" department at the New York Times, this time something that sooo doesn't sound healthy: Creamy Pasta. This is from "Recipes for Health: Kids Edition" and is described as "an alternative to prepackaged macaroni and cheese." It was a winner, and so easy ... but the best part is probably that it's infinitely customizable. For instance, you can always toss in some veggies, but I didn't have any broccoli or peas (my faves). Another option is to add garlic. I chose this route; the suggestion was for a whole clove, but my clove must have been larger than average because my breath is definitely pungent right now. It is kickin'.

Did I mention one of the ingredients is cottage cheese?! Yes, cottage cheese that's been pulverized in the food processor is one of the main ingredients. This is probably the component of the recipe which fascinated me the most on my drive home. ("It must just get all creamy, like any other dairy product," I thought. "But it's cottage cheese! That's so CRAZY!") I have been eating a half-cup of fat-free cottage cheese as part of my breakfast for just about a year now -- I got these cute little Rubbermaid cups that hold exactly the right amount. So I get my calcium, and a little protein to keep me full, hence preventing me from biting the heads off my coworkers at 10:45 a.m. (I get cranky when I'm hungry.)

Although I resisted the urge to add some leftover chicken to the mix -- I wanted to follow the recipe to the letter for my first go-round -- I think a little cut-up breast meat would be a nice addition. Unfortunately, in my excitement that all was going well, I actually forgot two -- two! -- of the recipe's ingredients: the milk and the olive oil. So mine turned out a little chunkier than it should have been (it actually ended up resembling the texture of cottage cheese again, even though the curds had been all mashed up). And, as always, I substituted the Parmesan cheese -- which, again, I didn't have -- for some Gruyere. And I probably added more freshly ground pepper, and more coarsely ground at that, than the average kid could stand. Still tasty!

And oh yes -- the Times' photo is much better than mine, but I did want to include this photo to show off my spatula with the cute little lobsters and crabs. It's from Sur La Table. I think it's so fun.

Stop & Shop and the Single Girl

This is everything I bought when I stopped at the grocery store today.

I think the only other things I could have purchased that would have screamed "I AM A HOUSEHOLD CONSISTING OF ONE 32-YEAR-OLD FEMALE AND HER CAT" any louder were a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a copy of People.

Strategery

So, on Wednesday morning I realized I had a loaf of potentially stale bread. I figured I would give it to my companion's father to feed to the birds, as he is wont to do with stale bread (and various other kitchen scraps). The half-loaf was going to sit in my car all day then become birdfood when we went for our weekly Wednesday night pasta dinner.

But then, lo and behold, what should appear in the New York Times? The article and recipe "What to Do With Stale Bread? Pudding, for Starters." It describes a strata -- an Italian "bread pudding" of sorts, the name coming from the layers of bread and tomatoes -- more than a bread pudding per se. Its billing as a "Savory Bread Pudding With Tomatoes and Herbs" tells the whole story.

Since I was using a slightly smaller baking dish than it called for, and I neglected to measure out my bread (just used it all , since I definitely didn't want any left over after it had sat in my car all day), I didn't really stratify it as much as I did a layer of bread, a layer of tomatoes (diced, and with most of the seeds taken out), and a layer of bread. And I probably used twice as much cheese as it called for. OK, maybe three times as much cheese. I used Gruyere and Romano (the recipe called for Parmiagiano, but I usually just have Romano around; it's my go-to dry cheese). Also I used basil instead of the herbs it called for.

I think it came out pretty good. Tasty, easy, definitely a comfort food. Although it's supposed to be a way to use up bountiful late-summer tomatoes (in addition to the stale bread), I think it would be a nice addition to a cold winter day. (Once winter arrives in earnest, I'll introduce you to my zucchini gratin, which is one of my winter comfort-food faves.)

Seen In Providence

Best bumper sticker ever:
GOD IS MY QUAHOG

No sign of these available for purchase anywhere. Just this:So I think I will need to make my own.

Savor Providence

Went yesterday with the aforementioned girlfriends to Savor Providence, a benefit for Trinity Repertory Company. It was excellent. Instead of being the usual "taste of"-style event, where you eat from paper plates in big tents, we actually went to the restaurants. You buy a booklet of "tastes" (uh, tickets, actually) and go around town during the four hours of the event to the participating eateries. Once there, you choose a menu item you'd like to "savor" and give them a ticket. Some places only had one food for everyone, others had a variety. It was really well done, and I especially liked how we actually got to go to the restaurants; it gave us a chance to check out places we hadn't been to, but also to "savor" some old favorites.

Highlights:

- This cheesy-tomatoey-baked-pasta dish at Al Forno was fantastic. We started here first at noon, and then went back at around 3:45 for seconds, it was that good. I mean, it was THAT GOOD. They were only serving this one dish (and drinks), which made it exceptionally well organized and speedy. Plus the atmosphere there is exceptional, too.



- A special shout-out goes to Costantino’s/Venda Ravioli, which, instead of inviting everyone in to the restaurant, served their ravioli right outside on Federal Hill. They were set up next to the fountain. Since it was such a beautiful day, it was quite lovely to sit there for a moment and have a bite. It was just like being in Italy. I suppose.

- I had always heard good things about Rue de l'Espoir but had never been able to make it there before now. It, too, didn't disappoint. They were offering a bunch of items off their bar menu; we opted for the "gooey grilled cheese sandwich" (pictured); the white bean, spinach & dried tomato crostini; and the so-called "trio of treats," although I am sorry to say I forgot precisely what all three of them were. One was a hummus, all three were to be eaten with grilled pita. All tasty nevertheless.

- We were excited to check out this new downtown spot, Local 121 (no, it's not the headquarters of the pipefitters' union; it's a restaurant which specializes in serving locally produced food). Mainly we were excited because they were billed as having some sort of homemade ice cream sandwich. But by the time we got there, they were fresh out of the dessert. "We expected, like, 8 people to show up," the waitperson said, "and we had, like--" "800?" I interjected. So instead, my companions tried some vegetarian "burger" thingies and I just had an iced tea. (I needed a break to make room in my tummy for the aforementioned second helping of pasta at Al Forno.) Probably the tastiest thing about Local 121 is the decor. It was smashing. Neat windows and wood in the bar. Huge, white leather (vinyl?) retro chairs and big tables in the dining room. Just very cool looking overall.

- CAV is just rad inside. (Did I say "rad"?) Because it is. It looks the way I would like my place to look if I lived in an old loft. Also "rad" at CAV was the lobster bisque served in shot glasses. What fun. Not as rad is how they seem to insist on capitalizing all three letters of the restaurant's name.

.

- An oldie but a goodie: 3 Steeple Street. This was one of our favorite restaurants back in college. Well, that is, once East Side Mario's went away. I've always loved this place for the atmosphere, the food, and the history (it's housed in the "second-oldest existing industrial building in the United States," they say). Anyway, we had glasses of red sangria here (nice), and my companions had salads while I represented for meat lovers everywhere and had the pate de foie gras. And yes, those are onions on top--"red onion marmalade," is how they described it, I believe. Not too bad. They did leave me with quite the breath, though. And I don't mean heavenly.

The Cape

Went to Cape Cod with two of my best girlfriends from college. We had a great time: lots of laughs, great weather, fun times, etc. Also ate some good food. Highlights:

- We had a nice spread of tapas for dinner on a Saturday night. A ton of food, actually. This place, Embargo, was fun and the food good. Drawbacks: they had a bunch of TVs (for me, ordinarily a plus), but after a while they changed the one TV that was showing Olympics coverage to the Red Sox. Also they forgot to take one of the stickers off one of the apples in our pitcher of sangria.

- One of my friends recently went to Wisconsin. I had asked her, if she wouldn't mind, to consider bringing me back a Cheese Head. She obliged, but with a much more awesome Cheese Head that I had imagined. I think the packaging says it all.